Vague Feelings and Standings

While waiting for a response to Cordula’s letter to my mother, I pondered my own unclear feelings. Both Kenntrips and Rasantark had been close friends since childhood, and I didn’t dislike either of them. The awkwardness I had felt when they were first named fiancé candidates had almost entirely disappeared. Still, I didn’t believe it was love.

…Even Lady Rozemyne, whom I was certain was in love with Lord Ferdinand, said it wasn’t love.

If saving a life by risking everything and stealing a foundation isn’t love, then what is? At the very least, I knew the affection I felt for Kenntrips and Rasantark wasn’t the same as love.

Given my current feelings, I couldn’t choose between them. Before being asked to choose one, I needed to understand how to fall in love.

…Love stories don’t explain how to fall in love.

Love stories depict moments of sudden realization or love at first sight, but those don’t help me at all right now. How can I develop romantic feelings for one of my fiancé candidates?

“Milady, Lady Sieglinde has sent a response. She has some words for your retainers as well, so we’ll prepare the meeting room after your lesson,” Cordula said a few days later, after reading the response from my mother with a slight frown. Feeling anxious about my mother’s words, I finished my lesson and headed to the meeting room with my retainers.

“Here is the letter from Lady Sieglinde.”

Cordula showed me the wooden board with my mother’s message once all the retainers had gathered in the meeting room. As I read it, Cordula briefed them on recent events.

“Not choosing is your choice…?”

My father and mother had concluded that I had chosen a third path by not selecting either Kenntrips or Rasantark. Father decided, “Then Rasantark will be her fiancé,” based on that understanding.

“Also, Hannelore, you seem to be driven by righteous indignation over Kenntrips’s treatment, but we do not see it that way. If Kenntrips had been chosen as the fiancé, Rasantark would have reminded a fiancé candidate to ensure your safety throughout the academy. Preventing the theft of the bride-stealing ditter’s treasure, the second Avatar of the Goddess, before the ditter is the top priority for Dunkelfelger right now.”

Reading my mother’s words made it clear that neither my father nor my mother intended to change Kenntrips standing. I felt a pang of guilt for not being able to do anything for Kenntrips, who seemed resigned to his fate, and continued reading.

“Guide Hannelore to think carefully about her position and future. It is permissible for Cordula to explain the details of the tasks. Hannelore likely won’t realize them on her own.”

Sensing I had missed something significant, I looked up from the board to Cordula, who stood beside me.

“Cordula, what does this mean? It implies that I’ve overlooked something important in choosing a fiancé, right?”

“Yes, that’s correct. Both fiancé candidates desire your affection, so I thought it would be acceptable for you to choose based on your feelings. I was told to remain silent until you realized it yourself.”

Cordula often sighed, it was a gesture I had seen many times whenever I struggled with a task. A chill ran down my spine.

“Milady, think carefully about the meaning of this task. The Aub is testing how well you can perceive, think about, and choose regarding your changed position now that you will stay in the duchy,” Cordula explained, looking at both me and my retainers.

“The same applies to your retinue who should be supporting you. Milady was supposed to marry into another duchy, but now she will stay in Dunkelfelger and take a husband. Have you all seriously considered the implications of this change, along with the Aub’s decision to choose Rasantark as her partner?”

“Ah…” Luitpold, furrowing his brows, let out a groan as if realizing a significant mistake. He looked as if he had just noticed something critical, pressing his forehead with a troubled expression.

“Luitpold, have you realized something?”

”…It means that we cannot continue as we have been.”

I couldn’t understand what exactly Luitpold, an apprentice scholar, had perceived as a crisis. Not only I, but none of the other retainers seemed to understand, as they all focused their attention on him.

“Milady, what will your duties be now that you are staying in Dunkelfelger?”

“My duties…? To support my brother and Eineliebe, right?”

As a full sister, I am expected to support both my brother and Eineliebe. Is there something else?

“Broadly speaking, your understanding is correct, but do you know the specific roles and responsibilities expected of you when assisting Lord Lestilaut, Lady Hannelore? I believe the Aub is assessing your abilities for that purpose”

Luitpold stated his thoughts, looking to Cordula for confirmation. She nodded, indicating he was correct.

“The skills needed to assist my brother…?”

“Lady Hannelore, you were raised with the expectation of marrying into another duchy. We, as your retainers, acted based on that premise as well. But now that you will stay in your own duchy, things can’t remain the same.”

I had thought I needed to choose between the two fiancé candidates, but I hadn’t considered what my life would be like afterward. I assumed I would continue living as a member of the archducal family, just as before, with one of the two becoming my husband. I still didn’t understand what needed to change.

”…Oh.”

“Andrea, have you realized something?”

I turned to the apprentice scholar who had spoken up. All eyes were on her now, and she hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Isn’t Lady Hannelore expected to act as a proxy for the first wife, rather than merely assist Lady Eineliebe?”

Luitpold nodded, understanding her point, but I was still confused. So were the others, judging by their puzzled expressions.

“What do you mean? Lady Eineliebe is the first wife, correct?” asked Elucia, an apprentice scholar, tilting her head in confusion. Andrea nodded.

“Yes, Lady Eineliebe is currently considered the first wife, but her marriage was arranged with the understanding that she would eventually become the second wife. In Dunkelfelger, the role of the second wife is to manage the duchy’s nobility, while the first wife handles interactions and negotiations with other duchies.”

In other words, that meant that I was expected to handle interactions and negotiations with other duchies. As a archduke candidate, I had an advantage over Lady Eineliebe, who came from an archnoble family, in dealing with other duchies at the Archduke’s Conference.

“Attending the Archduke’s Conference and engaging in social activities with other duchies are tasks I would have been expected to perform if I married into another duchy anyway. It makes sense that I would be assigned as a proxy until my brother officially takes a first wife. But is this situation really so serious?”

“It’s because we, as your retainers, will accompany you as the proxy for the first wife, Lady Hannelore,” Luitpold said in a grave voice, causing the retainers to turn pale. It seemed I was the only one still not understanding fully.

”…Is there a problem?”

“With Lady Hannelore’s expected marriage, we were supposed to disband and transition to serving Lady Eineliebe or Lady Sieglinde.”

I nodded at Luitpold’s words. I was aware that while not all female retainers would transition, some were close to marriage themselves, they were supposed to be reassigned to members of my mother’s faction within the archducal family. With my decision to stay, the reassignments were canceled, and new attendants for Eineliebe needed to be selected and trained.

“Since your departure to another duchy was a given, we kept a bit more distance from you compared to Lord Lestilaut. You consult Cordula about everything, don’t you?”

“We planned to learn new ways of working in our new assignments. None of us expected to attend the Archduke’s Conference as your retainers. We need to quickly review our rapport with you and how we handle our duties. What we let slide as a temporary arrangement won’t suffice for a lifelong commitment.”

Andrea and Luitpold’s words made me press my hand to my chest. It was true, I had let many things slide, thinking, “I’ll be leaving for another duchy.” The relationship-building with my retainers, particularly within my own duchy, had been neglected.

“While various reviews and adjustments are necessary for your retainers, there is also a significant change for Lady Hannelore. If you were to marry into another duchy, the attendants there would prepare everything for you to participate in the Archduke’s Conference without any issues. But that will not be the case now.”

Starbind Ceremonies for archduke candidates take place on the first day of the Archduke’s Conference. Immediately after, there are introductions and social events with the archducal couples of all duchies. In those situations, the retainers from the new duchy would teach you the order of greetings, the important relationships to prioritize, and prepare responses for negotiations and conversations.

“If you stay in your own duchy, you won’t just be following the instructions of your retainers. Instead, Lady Hannelore, you will need to give directions and prepare everything yourself. By next year, you will be treated as an adult archduke candidate who is already aware of the duchy’s interests and aspirations.”

With Elucia’s remark, I, like the retainers whose faces had turned pale, felt a similar reaction. Cordula’s slightly exasperated voice said, “Finally, you understand?”

“Milady was meant to go to another duchy, so some information was withheld. You were supposed to adopt the ways of other duchies, so it was considered acceptable to be passive and go with the flow. However, if you are to represent your own duchy at the Archduke’s Conference, that will not suffice.”

Cordula stated that rather than just doing as instructed, I must think and act for the benefit of my duchy. There will be no further teachings about the interests of our duchy, as they will assume I already know them.

“Milady, you must learn to consult with your other retainers and delegate tasks instead of always relying on me. Moreover, you are not to assist Lady Eineliebe, but to lead her. Building relationships within your faction’s nobility is also expected.”

…Leading? I had never truly realized this.

There is a hierarchy within the archducal family. In Dunkelfelger, it is led by my father, the Archduke, followed by my mother, the first wife, my grandfather, the former archduke, and then my brother, who has officially become the next archduke through the succession of the Foundation. After that, it would be my brother’s first wife from another duchy, if he had one, followed by the senior archduke candidates within our duchy, such as my uncles, and then the underage archduke candidates like me and Raufereg. Next are the second and third wives of the archduke, the second and third wives of the next archduke, and the spouses of the archduke candidates from our duchy.

Spouses from other duchies are somewhat considered based on the rank of their duchy, but generally, this order determines seating arrangements and the like. Eineliebe is temporarily considered my brother’s first wife but is actually the next archduke’s second wife. If I stay in Dunkelfelger, I will be required to direct Eineliebe as someone with a higher standing.”

“Milady, this is a valuable opportunity. Please think seriously about what staying in your own duchy means.”

”…Do you mean I still haven’t thought enough about it?”

“Yes, as you are now, you cannot fulfill the role of the First Wife’s representative. Please consider what that truly means.”

With that, Cordula fell silent and turned her gaze to Luitpold. It seemed she had no intention of saying anything more. Receiving her gaze, Luitpold closed his eyes briefly as if searching for words, then looked up and began to speak.

“Currently, the Aub is assessing what role within the archducal family Lady Hannelore can undertake and whether she has the necessary abilities.”

With Luitpold’s serious expression and stern tone, everyone else also adopted a serious demeanor.

“Earlier, I mentioned you would be asked to act as the First Wife’s representative, but that’s not entirely accurate. If your abilities are deemed sufficient, you will be entrusted with the role of a representative, and once Lord Lestilaut brings in a First Wife from another duchy, you may serve as an instructor to her, or act as a mediator between the First and Second Wives. During your tenure as representative, if you build a record of accomplishments, you might continue to be asked to engage in interactions with other duchies at the Archduke’s Conference.”

I could imagine this scenario, as my uncles, who manage the Archduke’s duties during events such as the Archduke’s Conference or Interduchy Tournament, sometimes attend the Archduke’s Conference, leaving my grandfather in charge.

“However, if it is judged that you lack the necessary abilities, then, to prevent bringing harm to our duchy, you won’t be allowed to attend the Archduke’s Conference as it could cause problems. In that case, you will likely support Lady Eineliebe in managing the affairs of our nobles and only be invited to the Archduke’s Conference when the status of the second Avatar of the Goddess is needed, effectively making you a figurehead with no real authority.”

As Luitpold spoke, Cordula’s mention of the tasks set by my father came to mind. Understanding the differences in perceptions between our duchy and others, interpreting subtle differences in wording, and predicting their long-term impacts… Even considering just these two aspects, I didn’t feel capable.

“Lady Hannelore, you should choose a spouse who can complement your deficiencies, considering your future position and duties. For example, Kenntrips, as a scholar serving Lord Lestilaut, could assist you at the Archduke’s Conference, but with Lord Rasantark, a knight, you couldn’t expect the same level of prior coordination.”

“Luitpold, that’s a bit harsh on Lord Rasantark. As a knight myself, it feels as if you’re saying I wouldn’t be useful at the Archduke’s Conference either,” Heilliese chided, looking displeased.

“I’m not trying to demean the role of the knights. But Lady Hannelore’s choice of spouse significantly impacts the future and treatment of us retainers. Heilliese, you need to think seriously about that too.”

“Well, that’s true… Scholars are undoubtedly more useful at the Archduke’s Conference. But is that really the right criterion for choosing a fiancé?”

I found myself agreeing with Heilliese’s objection.

“Heilliese is right. Besides, I’m not in love with either of them. My feelings are unclear, and I can’t decide… I still can’t think about marriage as something that concerns me personally…”

Before I could continue to say that this indecision led my father to choose Rasantark, Luitpold smiled and said, “Well, that’s perfect then.”

I was taken aback by being cut off and by him saying it was “perfect.” I blinked in surprise and uttered, “Huh?”

“If you have no unnecessary emotions, it’s advantageous. You should choose the partner most beneficial for your future.”

“Luitpold, what are you saying all of a sudden? You’ve never mentioned anything like this before!” Heilliese protested, but Luitpold ignored her and fixed his eyes on me.

“It’s no longer the time to say you can’t think about marriage as something that concerns you. You are an archduke candidate. Don’t choose a spouse based solely on your feelings. Your choice greatly affects us retainers too.”

Hearing this, I slowly shook my head from side to side.

“Um, but my father has already decided on Rasantark…”

“Yes, Cordura explained that while you were reading the wooden board. However, it hasn’t been officially announced yet. Neither you nor Lord Rasantark knew about it. So, even if it has been decided, it’s still an internal matter, no?” Luitpold directed his question not at me, but at Cordura. She nodded once.

“Yes, it’s meant to ensure Milady’s protection at the Royal Academy, showing that the fiancé candidates won’t be narrowed down until the bride-stealing ditter. The official announcement of the betrothal will likely be made after the tournament.”

“Then there is still a small window of opportunity.”

Luitpold was serious, but it didn’t seem likely to me.

“But my father has already decided internally. Is there really any opportunity?”

“There is. We will force it open with all our might.”

I couldn’t understand why Luitpold was so determined. His intensity was unsettling, and I glanced at the other retainers. They also seemed taken aback by his fervor.

“Love can come after the engagement or even after marriage. It’s not something Lady Hannelore needs to worry about now.”

…What? But I’ve been worrying about this so much!

Being told that it’s not something I should worry about left me stunned. I had been told to think about and choose between the fiancé candidates, and now I was hearing the complete opposite. It wasn’t just me; everyone seemed taken aback.

“Since it’s clear that both Lord Rasantark and Lord Kenntrips have feelings for Lady Hannelore, she should make an effort to let them fall in love with her.”

“Luitpold, that’s too extreme,” Andrea tried to interject, but Luitpold cut her off.

“Focus on the future rather than such vague personal feelings. What position do you intend to take in Dunkelfelger? Given that the Aub has internally decided on Lord Rasantark, it implies that you will have minimal involvement in the Archduke’s Conference and will be tasked with handling our duchy’s knights. Are you satisfied with that?”

The retainers stirred uneasily.

“Handling the knights?”

“Luitpold, do you mean… as the treasurer for the ditter?”

Heilliese asked cautiously. The treasurer for ditter is responsible for managing the budget and expenses, trying to curb the knights’ enthusiasm for ditter as much as possible, rejecting unnecessary expenditures, and arguing over approvals. It’s a position everyone wants to avoid, especially someone like me, who once considered leaving Dunkelfelger to escape ditter.

…Me as the treasurer!?

I gasped. If I were the treasurer, there would be no need to understand the differences in perception between our duchy and others or to read subtle differences in wording. I would only need to deal with our knights, and with the status of an archduke candidate, I could keep them in check. It’s an important role for the duchy, but it doesn’t involve interacting with people from other duchies. For an archduke candidate unsuitable for negotiations with other duchies, there couldn’t be a more fitting role.

“That’s why I felt so hopeless! At this rate, all of Lady Hannelore’s retainers will be forced into the treasurer role without question.”

“Now I understand Luitpold’s desperation. We must avoid this at all costs!”

“I absolutely refuse to be the treasurer for the ditter!”

The retainers all voiced their agreement with Luitpold’s pained outburst. While I understood their feelings, their intense stares made me instinctively recoil.

“Please, Lady Hannelore. Choose Kenntrips as your marriage partner.”

“It’s okay. Since it’s not public yet, we just need to create the fact that Lady Hannelore chose Kenntrips before Aub announces anything.”

“Let’s get the conditions for the proposal from Kenntrips first. We, the retainers, will fully support you.”

I also didn’t want to be in charge of a department where overenthusiastic knights, already too fervent in the heat, would storm in demanding budget increases due to their excitement over ditter. However, being told to obtain proposal conditions from Kenntrips for that reason left me at a loss.

…W-What should I do?