Kenntrips' Position

On the surface, I had managed to maintain my composure, but rejecting the affection offered to me was far from enjoyable. Feeling quite down, I finished practice and left the small hall sooner than usual, not in the mood for leisurely conversations.

Unusually, there were no retainers waiting to escort me, so I looked around and saw those, who had just finished their music practice, hurrying towards me.

“You’re quite early today, Lady Hannelore.”

”…It seems there are fewer guard knights around. Did something happen?”

The only one offering to escort me was Kenntrips, while Rasantark was absent, and Heilliese was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, there seems to be an explanation about the selection for the sword dance, so the fifth-year apprentice knights were asked to stay behind.”

Officially, twenty apprentice knights with high grades are selected as sword dancers. If chosen purely on merit, most of the selected apprentice knights would be from Dunkelfelger, so it had been decided that no more than five apprentices from Dunkelfelger could be selected at once.

“Considering that long ago each duchy would select only one outstanding apprentice, should we not be glad that Dunkelfelger is allotted five positions?”

“Perhaps it would be better to pray that Leidenschaft, the God of Fire and Angriff, the God of War do not show their displeasure?”

Long ago, each duchy selected one outstanding apprentice, but as smaller duchies increased, a skill gap emerged between representatives of greater and lesser duchies. Additionally, the one chosen from each duchy started to be selected for political reasons rather than skill in the sword dance.

The sword dances being offered had apparently become so disgraceful that it was said that Leidenschaft, the God of Fire and Angriff, the God of War had shown their displeasure. As a result, the selection process shifted to being conducted by the professors at the Royal Academy rather than by the duchies themselves.

…Until now, I thought the stories of the God of Fire and the God of War’s anger were metaphorical…

“If the Goddess of Time descends upon me to summon Lady Rozemyne, it wouldn’t be surprising if the God of Fire or the God of War descends upon someone in their anger.”

The tales of the gods remaining in our duchy, even if with some embellishments, might indeed have involved some divine intervention.

”…In the past few years, the gods have become much closer to us.”

“If you don’t take your offering of music seriously, the goddess might descend to scold you.”

I said this lightly, causing my retainers to gasp and exchange glances.

“When you say it, Lady Hannelore, it doesn’t sound like a joke.”

“It’s nerve-wracking to think the gods are watching.”

“I’m being serious, so I’m not worried.”

We arrived at the dormitory while teasing each other about our reactions. Feeling a bit more relaxed after being so on edge, I let out a small sigh.

”…Kenntrips, is something the matter?”

Usually, upon reaching the dormitory, Kenntrips would release my hand and end the escort, but today he leaned down a bit, looking at my face thoughtfully.

“Lady Hannelore, should I prepare a meeting room? Or would you prefer to retreat to your hidden room alone first?”

”…What’s this about?”

Kenntrips glanced briefly at my retainers, seemingly concerned, before giving a slightly troubled smile and tapping his own forehead twice with his finger. Without speaking, he communicated, “You’re frowning and look as if you’re holding back tears, Little Crybaby.”

Cordula looked at me with concern. Instinctively, I pressed my own forehead with my free hand. I thought I had managed to keep it together.

“It’s essential to share the information about conversations with people from other duchies that took place without retainers present… especially with suitors from the bride-stealing ditter. Would you prefer to use the hidden room first?”

“What do you think? I don’t feel like I’m so emotionally shaken that I need to use the hidden room first…”

However, once I start talking, there is a possibility that my emotions might become overwhelming. I don’t want to show my retainers that I’m losing control of my emotions.

“Perhaps we should limit the retainers allowed in the meeting room to those who can participate in the exchange meetings? Lord Lestilaut sometimes creates private spaces like that.”

Exchange meetings are gatherings for family members only. In front of those who have known me since before my baptism, when I couldn’t yet control my emotions, I would be more forgiven for showing my true feelings. In fact, we often have more relaxed conversations at these meetings.

“So, you suggest making the meeting room a private space?”

“That’s one possible option. What do you think?”

I nodded at Kenntrips’s suggestion.

”…Please prepare the meeting room.”

“Understood. Milady, please wait with Kenntrips and the guard knights over there.”

After confirming Kenntrips nodding at Cordula’s words and escorting me to the chairs at the edge of the entrance hall, the attendants began to move.

I looked up at Kenntrips standing beside me. Sitting down made his face seem far away, and his voice might not reach me. I lightly tugged on the sleeve in front of me. Noticing this, Kenntrips knelt down, asking, “Yes, Milady?”

”…Um, did it really show on my face that much?”

“No, only if someone looked closely.”

…But Kenntrips still noticed.

Even though I only protested in my mind, it was as if Kenntrips had heard me, as he shrugged his shoulders.

“If I were in Lord Ortwin’s position, I would also seize the opportunity when there are no fiancé candidates around to interfere. I anticipated some kind of contact today or during tomorrow’s lesson, so I was just keeping an eye on you, Lady Hannelore.”

…Please don’t watch me so closely.

I managed to suppress the impulse to reflexively protest, which I consider a sign of my considerable growth.

“Milady, please have a seat here. Kenntrips, please sit over there.”

Following Cordula’s directions, I entered the meeting room and took my seat as instructed. Those who would remain in the room were the ones who would understand and accept me if I became emotional, in other words, those who are accustomed to handling my occasional emotional outbursts.

“Please leave only Cordula as my attendant. Kenntrips will handle any necessary records. The guard knights should wait outside the door. Please bring Rasantark here when he returns.”

“Understood.”

Though my retainers looked a bit puzzled as they left, unused to such a private setup, they did not object.

With only the three of us remaining, I gestured for Cordula to sit as well, stating that this was a private setting.

“Does my brother really create such settings to express his emotions?”

“The Aub and Lady Sieglinde also create similar settings by keeping only specific people in their rooms and dismissing others, …It’s just not something taught to children who are still learning to control their emotions.”

Cordula lightly glared at Kenntrips for teaching me this unnecessary information and warned me, “Don’t overuse this privilege.”

This time, I was allowed to do so because she was aware of my mental state and recognized that while I could usually control my emotions, sharing this information might make me emotional.

“Furthermore, while discussing the courtship from an archduke candidate of another duchy during the preparation period for the bride-stealing ditter is crucial. Knowing the details could lead to provocation. It’s important to hear the details from you and decide what information to share and with whom. Understood?”

Kenntrips was cautioning me not to share this information recklessly, even among my retainers. Since I had excluded most of them, it’s only fair to expect discretion.

“So, where should I start?”

“Wherever you feel comfortable, Lady Hannelore. The most important thing is to relax that frown. What caused you to feel so down that you almost cried?”

I lightly pressed my furrowed brow as Kenntrips pointed out, taking a slow breath. The words exchanged during the brief break were swirling in my mind.

“Perhaps it’s because I learned how heavy-hearted it feels to have to reject someone’s feelings.”

”…Yes, it’s a heavy burden.”

“Indeed. While it’s flattering to have someone care for me, I cannot accept their feelings.”

Kenntrips raised an eyebrow slightly, as if suspecting I might be considering leaving Dunkelfelger, his gray eyes filled with doubt. I shook my head.

“The words of courtship were delightful, like a romance story, but I have been rejecting him from the beginning. I have no intention of leaving Dunkelfelger.”

Kenntrips smiled reassuringly and urged me to continue.

“Was that the only reason for your heavy heart?”

“Another reason is that… I would have preferred not to reject his courtship in a public place with so many eyes on us, like during the break of the dedication whirl class…”

Although we used an eavesdropping prevention magic tool, I couldn’t ignore the surrounding gazes. Discussions as significant as these, both for the duchies and for personal lives, would have been better in a more private setting.

As I pondered this, my brows furrowed even more, unlike Kenntrips, who tilted his head as if he couldn’t quite understand my concern.

“Wasn’t it Lord Ortwin who initiated such an important conversation during a break, rather than you, Lady Hannelore?”

“Yes, I suggested preparing the Dunkelfelger tea party room, but he declined.”

“Then it was Lord Ortwin who chose to be rejected in a public setting. There’s no need for you to worry about the location.”

Kenntrips’s reassurance that it wasn’t my fault didn’t bring the relief I had hoped for. The uneasy feeling continued to linger.

”…Perhaps it wasn’t just the location.”

“If Milady still feels burdened, there must be another reason.”

Cordula said, with Kenntrips nodding in agreement.

“Maybe it’s something difficult for you to talk about, Lady Hannelore?”

…Difficult to talk about?

“Is it not something you don’t want to put into words because you feel it would be unfair to Lord Ortwin?”

…Ah, that’s it.

Kenntrips’s insight revealed the source of my unease.

“The words of courtship did make me happy, and they helped me realize some things. But just a little… I really wish he hadn’t said anything. It’s selfish, but if Lord Ortwin hadn’t spoken, I wouldn’t have had to reject him.”

It was very selfish to feel that way after he showed his affection, but I couldn’t stop thinking that if he hadn’t spoken, I wouldn’t have had to refuse his feelings or see his trembling fists.

“You told him that you needed time during that tea party. If you were truly selfish, even if he had spoken words of courtship, you could have avoided facing him and kept postponing your response until the bride-stealing ditter.”

“Hold on. Not engaging with him until the ditter would lack sincerity, wouldn’t it?”

Kenntrips’s suggestion was so self-serving that I widened my eyes in surprise. Such behavior couldn’t possibly be acceptable.

“If you didn’t want to face him, it was an option. You could have behaved like Schutzaria, who banished Ewigeliebe just before winter, by making him face defeat in the ditter.”

“I could never act that way, and Lord Ortwin doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

I glared at Kenntrips for saying such a terrible thing, but instead of being intimidated, he smiled at me indulgently, as if he were humoring me.

“You felt such weight because you faced it head-on without running away.”

”…What?”

“The more serious the feelings, the heavier they are. You took them in, and responded to them… You did well, Lady Hannelore.”

I hadn’t expected such affirmation, and I blinked at Kenntrips several times, surprised. His smile deepened, showing no trace of rejection or criticism.

“Is it alright to say I did well? Because all I did was hurt Lord Ortwin…”

“If you can’t see it yourself, then let me say it for you. You faced it head-on and did well.”

Kenntrips’s words seemed to lift the heaviness from my heart. Feeling a bit lighter, I began to share how Lord Ortwin’s words had saved the person I was last year.

In the midst of this, I remembered the initial topic of my conversation with Lord Ortwin.

”…By the way, Kenntrips, I am your escort partner for your graduation ceremony, correct?”

“What!?”

Kenntrips, who had been listening with a soft smile, suddenly exclaimed in a startled voice, visibly jerking in surprise.

“If Kenntrips were to attend the graduation ceremony with a relative or someone else, it could be perceived as dissatisfaction with the fiancé candidate chosen by the Aub, wouldn’t it? Considering his position in the duchy, I believe I should be his escort.”

In front of me stood Kenntrips, his gray eyes wide in surprise, and Cordula, who had her head bowed and was pressing her forehead.

“What? Is that wrong? Could it be, as Lord Ortwin suggested, that considering other suitors and another fiancé candidate, I should not be Kenntrips’s escort for this year’s graduation ceremony?”

I was flustered, not expecting such reactions from the two Dunkelfelger nobles, and I anxiously glanced at them.

“Lord Ortwin’s opinion is irrelevant. It’s more that it was very sudden and, if I may say Milady, surprising how narrow your perspective was,” Cordula explained, sharing a resigned sigh with Kenntrips.

“Even if you say it’s sudden, it didn’t seem so to me… So, who was Kenntrips planning to escort?”

“That would be me.”

“Wait a moment. Cordula, you are not a relative of Kenntrips’, are you?”

Seeing my confusion, Cordula gave me an exasperated look and began to explain.

“Given that things can change based on your decisions, Milady, it’s difficult to rely on family members. Preparations for the attire and such are necessary too.”

My mother had suggested, “It would be best for an adult attendant accompanying him at the Royal Academy, who is older than Kenntrips’s mother, to take on the role,” leading to Cordula taking the responsibility.

“If I were to be his escort, I could easily adapt if Lady Hannelore changes her mind the day before the graduation ceremony.”

“I don’t intend to cause such trouble for everyone.”

”…Lady Hannelore, you often become so focused on your thoughts that you lose sight of your surroundings. I took on this role to respect your decisions as much as possible. Right now, I think it was the right choice,” Cordula said, smiling in that way she does when she’s cleaning up after one of my mistakes.

“Would it really cause so much trouble for everyone if I accompanied Kenntrips to his graduation ceremony?”

“No, as you said, it would be better for the duchy’s nobles if you escorted him, Milady.”

If it’s better for the duchy’s nobles, then what is the issue for these two? Before I could ponder further, Cordula asked, “Kenntrips, what do you want to do?”

“I would appreciate it, but it depends on Rasantark’s approval. Lord Ortwin’s point is valid.”

At that moment, an ordonnanz arrived, landing on my hand and opening its beak. It was from Rasantark, the very person we were discussing.

“This is Rasantark. I have just returned and am heading over now.”

As soon as Rasantark entered the meeting room, I promptly asked, “Is it alright if I escort Kenntrips at his graduation ceremony? Lord Ortwin also shared this opinion, but Kenntrips believes he shouldn’t be my escort, considering the feelings of other suitors and my other fiancé candidate. Thus I would like to hear your thoughts, Rasantark.”

“I think it would be good for Kenntrips to escort you, Lady Hannelore. It would serve as a declaration to people from other duchies that you intend to stay in Dunkelfelger. I was planning to suggest it myself.”

Rasantark’s straightforward approval made me happy, especially after seeing Kenntrips and Cordula’s exasperated expressions.

“So, you agree, Rasantark?”

“Yes. Moreover, I have next year, but Kenntrips doesn’t. I’m sure it will be a good memory for him.”

“What? Why doesn’t Kenntrips have another chance?” I asked, surprised by Rasantark’s comment, as if implying Rasantark and I were already engaged.

Rasantark looked puzzled by my reaction.

“Kenntrips, as an apprentice scholar, does not have the right to participate in the bride-stealing ditter.”

“Even though he’s a fiancé candidate!?”

As a fiancé candidate, I assumed he had the same standing as the suitors and would naturally participate. Rasantark, with a displeased expression, explained, “It’s because of the conditions set by the Zent.”

“Kenntrips is an apprentice scholar, so he is neither part of the archducal family nor a guard knight. The Zent’s conditions prevent him from participating in the bride-stealing ditter. As things stand, he would be seen as a man who didn’t defend his bride, making him unacceptable as a husband in Dunkelfelger.”

I was shocked to hear that Rasantark, who could participate in the ditter, would automatically become my fiancé. It was unthinkable that a fiancé candidate couldn’t even stand on the battlefield.

“Isn’t it absurd that a fiancé candidate cannot participate! The Zent should change the conditions. What did Father say about this?”

At the very least, the Zent should allow the already decided fiancé candidates to participate in the bride-stealing ditter. I believed my father could negotiate such a change.

“The Aub considers it sufficient that one fiancé candidate can participate.”

Cordula’s words left me speechless.

“Since it’s not a problem whether it’s Kenntrips or Rasantark, the Aub decided to have both as candidates. Because you haven’t chosen, if Rasantark becomes your fiancé, it would be fine.”

The conditions set by the Zent, announced to all duchies and conducted under her management, couldn’t be overturned now. Nor could the established norms of the ditter be changed. Kenntrips not participating in the bride-stealing ditter meant he couldn’t be recognized as a suitable marriage partner in Dunkelfelger.

“But if things stay as they are, Kenntrips…”

“Calm down, Milady. We’ve known this since the Zent’s announcement.”

Turning to Kenntrips, I saw that resigned smile I’d seen many times recently.

“To you, Lady Hannelore, it doesn’t really matter if it’s me or Rasantark, does it?”