In the Temple, A Different Life from Hasse

“Nora, you’ll be staying in the girls’ building, right? See you at dinner.”

”…Yeah. See you later.”

After returning to the temple from gathering in the forest, we split up for different tasks according to our age and gender. Thore and Rick, who were boys over the age of ten, took the gathered items back to the workshop in the boys’ building, where they sorted them and helped clean up the workshop afterward. Marthe, who was under the age of ten, also worked in the workshop. She cleaned and put away the tools we had used in the forest, then carried the sorted food down to the basement of the girls’ building. As a girl over the age of ten, I had to help prepare the meals in the basement of the girls’ building.

At the Hasse orphanage, our work had also been divided by age and gender, so having different tasks here was only to be expected. Even so, I was the only one who couldn’t stay with everyone else from Hasse, and since I didn’t like the temple’s food, I wasn’t looking forward to it.

My steps inevitably grew heavier, and I ended up walking at the back of the group of women returning to the girls’ building.

“We’re back.”

“Oh my, welcome back. You’re early today.”

Down in the basement of the girls’ building, the women who had stayed behind had already begun preparing dinner. Some were peeling vegetables, others stood at cutting boards with knives in hand, and there were piles of chopped vegetables alongside piles that still needed to be washed and cut. Everyone looked busy.

The girls returning from the forest washed their hands one after another before joining in with preparing dinner. I lined up at the back and began washing my hands as well.

“Now that everyone has returned, I must get the children ready for their cleansing.”

Wilma then went on to bathe each of the children as they came in. From what I knew of life in Hasse, Wilma was already busy managing the orphanage and caring for the children who had yet to be baptized. I simply couldn’t understand why she also had to wash all the children returning from the forest before dinner.

…If they only did it once every three days instead of every day, they’d have that much less to take care of.

No one would die from not bathing every day, and I couldn’t understand why we had to wash our hands before doing anything, either. I didn’t complain or refuse since I had been told those were the temple’s rules, but I found the temple’s obsession with cleanliness utterly exhausting.

“Nora, could I leave the rest to you?”

“Eh? Oh, Yes.”

Caught off guard when Wilma spoke to me, I answered without thinking. Smiling, she said, “Thank you,” before walking away.

After washing my hands, I took Wilma’s place, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I stared helplessly at the pile of raditon’s on the cutting board.

…I know they’re for the soup, but.

The temple’s meals consisted of leftovers passed down from the High Bishop and the Blue Priests. Now that there were fewer of them, the leftovers alone weren’t enough, so they supplemented them with soup they made themselves. Making that soup sounded simple, but it was surprisingly difficult.

…It’s just too different from Hasse.

I was nearly an adult, after all. Before my parents died, and even when I lived as an orphan in the mayor’s house, I’d been made to help with all sorts of chores, including cooking. If it was just a matter of chopping meat and vegetables however I saw fit, adding salt, and letting it simmer, I could make soup just fine.

But things were different at the temple. To begin with, the preparation was much more complicated. There were all sorts of steps Hasse never had, like parboiling or sautéing vegetables in butter, and each vegetable had to be handled differently. Some had to be sautéed first, some had to be parboiled, some couldn’t be sautéed together, and even the order in which they were added to the pot mattered. No one in Hasse had ever been so particular.

…Now then, did the raditon’s need to be sautéed first? Or was it fine to put them straight into the water? Or did they have to wait until it came to a boil?

I couldn’t remember in that moment, so I looked around for someone to ask for help. Everyone in sight was busy with their own tasks, getting dinner ready. I wanted to ask someone, but there wasn’t an opening. Besides, I’d already had it explained to me several times. Can’t you remember after being told once, you idiot?! The mayor’s wife, who used to shout that at me so often, echoed through my mind.

…All right. I’ll just try sautéing them for now.

I started sautéing the raditons. I glanced around, but no one said anything. Maybe I’d gotten it right after all. Still unsure of myself, I kept cooking until Marthe and the other children under ten returned after finishing the cleanup at the workshop.

“Welcome back. Wilma and the others are cleansing the little ones, so you should all go get bathed as well. Make sure you’re finished before dinner. Hurry along.”

“Okay!”

At the older gray shrine maiden’s words, the children headed for the stairs. Marthe, who had been walking with the others, came over to me.

“I’m back, Nora. …Huh? You’re sautéing the raditons? Weren’t they supposed to be simmered from cold water?”

Marthe’s puzzled question carried farther through the room than I’d expected.

“Huh?”

Voices of surprise rose all around me as everyone’s eyes turned toward me at once.

…Simmered from cold water?

My breath caught, and my mind went completely blank. I’d made a mistake. I’d been called out in front of everyone. Even Marthe, who had entered the temple at the same time as I had despite being much younger, had adapted to the temple’s unfamiliar customs better than I had. Panic and embarrassment welled up inside me, and my throat tightened.

…What do I do? What am I supposed to do?

“My, Nora. You sautéed them? Ah, but it’s still all right. At this point, they’ll be fine if you put them into the pot right away…”

At Laiza’s hurried advice, I quickly transferred the half-sautéed raditons into the pot. My hands were trembling strangely, but I didn’t want to make another mistake. At the very least, I was determined not to spill or drop anything.

”…I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, so don’t worry about it. The ones we sauté are these ranie. Marthe, you should go and get cleansed with everyone else now.”

As she spoke, Laiza began putting the sliced ranie into the now-empty pan.

“Ah, okay. …Um, Nora?”

“I’m fine. Marthe, just hurry and go.”

“Y-Yeah.”

Marthe headed toward the stairs, glancing back at me with concern. It only made me feel worse that my own mistake had made my voice come out so sharply, as though I were taking my frustration out on a little girl.

…Marthe hadn’t done anything wrong.

Marthe, who had once been the shyest, most timid, and least dependable of us all, had been the first to become friends with Delia, a girl around her own age. Through their papermaking work in the workshop, Thore and Rick had also started talking more with boys their own age. The only one who still couldn’t chat casually with someone of the same age and gender was me.

…I’m the only one who’s completely hopeless.

I couldn’t have stayed in Hasse any longer. I don’t regret following Lady Rozemyne here.

But I’d underestimated just how drastically my whole way of life would change.

…What if I never manage to fit in?

Without ever finding my place, preparations for winter at the temple began. With so many people, getting everything ready was a major undertaking.

Winter preparations in the town of Hasse were different from those at the temple, and there were many things that confused me. In Hasse, the most important task was going to the forest and gathering up firewood. At the temple, however, most things were purchased. Even when we went to the forest, there wasn’t the same sense of desperation about preparing for winter. We didn’t even make our own clothes.

…I’m grateful that it saves us the trouble, but still.

Even in winter, the gray shrine maidens wore the same sort of clothes, and their undergarments weren’t made from any thicker fabric. I couldn’t help worrying that the material didn’t look particularly warm.

“Wilma, I haven’t seen any sweaters or socks knitted from wool, even though we’re preparing for winter. Do we make them ourselves…?”

I asked Wilma, the orphanage’s supervisor, but she merely tilted her head in confusion. “Wool? What is that?”

I hadn’t expected her not to know what wool was. How was I supposed to explain it?

“Um, it’s something you use when it’s cold. Sweaters and scarves are, um…”

“Lady Rozemyne bought us scarves and gloves to wear when we go to the forest.”

“Are they things you can wear inside the temple?”

It seemed they did have a few garments to wear over their clothes when going into the forest, but while inside the temple, they wore nothing but their usual gray robes.

“Wait… are wool socks those things?”

As though something had come to mind, Delia made a slight face of distaste.

“Lady Rozemyne tried to bring them into the orphanage director’s chambers during last winter’s preparations. They said wool socks were too unsightly, and that wearing wool garments over a blue apprentice shrine maiden’s robes wasn’t allowed, so they were rejected. Wool undergarments that could be worn beneath the robes were permitted, though. Are they truly that warm?”

Delia didn’t seem to know much about it either, but Lady Rozemyne apparently did. I was simply relieved that there was at least someone who understood what I was talking about, and I turned back to Delia.

“It makes an enormous difference. Don’t you knit anything here at the temple?”

“No. We don’t, and I wouldn’t even know how…”

As Delia wore an unenthusiastic expression, Marthe cut into the conversation.

“Delia, I know about it.”

“We used to knit during the winter in Hasse. Should we ask Lady Rozemyne to buy some sheep? There aren’t any at the temple, are there?”

“Why would you need sheep to knit with wool? You can just buy it, can’t you?”

Delia looked at her suspiciously, but Marthe’s eyes widened in surprise as well.

“Huh? You can buy wool too? Instead of shearing the wool, spinning it yourself, and making it? There are loads of sheep.”

“Of course we buy it. There would be so many sheep that keeping them all at the temple would be far more trouble.”

Marthe was just as surprised by how different everything was from Hasse, and each time she was, Delia explained the temple’s way of thinking. While watching the lively exchange between the two of them out of the corner of my eye, I turned to Wilma.

“We can easily make knitting needles by carving banhit, but it looks like we’ll have to have the wool provided for us. Keeping sheep here is more trouble than it’s worth, isn’t it?”

“Yes. If Lady Rozemyne is familiar with wool and knitting, we should ask whether she would be willing to provide the necessary materials and tools. I only hope there’s still enough left in this year’s winter preparations budget…”

Wilma let out a quiet sigh.

Life at the temple revolved around buying everything, and naturally, buying things cost money. Knitting in Hasse had required a great deal of labor, but money had hardly been a concern. Realizing I’d made the suggestion without thinking it through, I felt the blood drain from my face.

“Um… did I… overstep by bringing it up…?”

“Not at all. We’d be grateful for anything that helps us stay even a little warmer through the winter. The orphanage has survived on whatever the blue priests and shrine maidens passed down to us, so we have very little of the everyday knowledge that people in the lower city take for granted.”

Come to think of it, I’d heard when I had been staying at the monastery in Hasse, that Lady Rozemyne had completely transformed life in the orphanage here.

“I’d heard that Lady Rozemyne negotiated with the High Priest so everyone could go into the forest, that she sent her own chef so they could cook what they gathered there, and that she provided sewing supplies along with a dedicated seamstress… but it really wasn’t an exaggeration after all.”

“Yes. So if Lady Rozemyne knows about knitting and decides it’s something we need in our daily lives, I’m sure she’ll provide the tools and the wool as well.”

Just as Wilma had said, Lady Rozemyne apparently decided that the orphanage needed knitting. The Gilberta Company and its affiliated suppliers seemed to carry what was required, and within a few days, knitting needles and wool had been delivered.

Perhaps she thought there was no problem as long as someone already knew how to knit, because Wilma said that none of Lady Rozemyne’s attendants would be sent to teach them.

“Nora, Marthe, you’ll have to teach everyone, all right?”

Marthe and I looked at each other, then picked up the knitting needles and wool. With the other gray shrine maidens watching us with eager curiosity, we began teaching them how to knit.

“You start like this…”

I remembered my late mother teaching me, how Thore had insisted on copying us only to lose interest almost immediately and throw it aside, how Father had then started teaching him a man’s work instead, the soft crackle of the firewood in the hearth, and the rich aroma of soup quietly simmering in the pot hanging over the flames…

After Father and Mother died, we’d been so busy, so determined that Thore and I had to help each other survive, that I’d almost stopped thinking about the days we’d spent together as a family. Yet now, one memory after another drifted through my mind before quietly fading away.

“Nora, would you mind explaining that one more time?”

”…Huh? Oh, right. Sure.”

I’d been so lost in my memories that my response came a little late. Perhaps because of that, Wilma lowered her eyebrows slightly, looking as though she felt she’d imposed on me.

“I’m sorry. I keep making you explain something that comes so easily to you over and over again… I’m not very good at remembering things. Unless I repeat something again and again until my hands remember it, I can’t do it.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s only natural not to be able to do something the first time you try it.”

The words slipped out of my mouth before I even thought about them, and I froze.

It was only natural not to be able to do something unfamiliar for the first time. When I saw how earnestly someone was trying, answering the same question a few times didn’t bother me at all.

…Maybe everyone else felt the same way?

Perhaps I’d been the one shrinking back because the mayor’s wife and the others had always shouted at me. Maybe Wilma and the others didn’t actually mind being asked questions at all.

“If there’s something you don’t understand, all you can do is keep asking until you learn it and get used to it. …I—I mean, I will probably end up asking you lots of questions too, Wilma, until I get used to things…”

“Hehe, you’re right. I suppose both of us are in the same boat, Nora.”

When Wilma smiled and said, “The same goes for both of us,” the tension drained from my shoulders. The anxiety I’d been carrying about this new life quietly melted away.

It might take me longer than young Marthe and the others, but for the first time, I found myself naturally thinking that I could keep doing my best until I grew accustomed to life in the temple.